Herbietown - Imagination is on fire

Imagination is on fire

I’ve been having intense anxiety dreams ever since Jack arrived.  I don’t always remember all of them, but the ones I can remember have ranged from standard-issue anxiousness to full-blown nightmare:

  • Chris goes on business trip but forgets to pack pants.
  • Giant man-eating lizard attacks Chris.
  • Chris goes to Vegas with large group of friends from college.  They decide to rollerblade around the strip (no idea why, so don’t ask), but Chris can’t get his skates tightened properly, holding everyone up.  Chris’s buddy Victor is disappointed.
  • Chris cheats on Greta and ruins his life.

I have always dreamed when starting a new experience, especially if I’m sleeping in a new bed.  It usually lasts for about a week, and then I adjust to the new setting and move on with my life.  But these dreams have been persistent over the last 3 weeks.

Being a new parent is scary, but not necessarily for the reasons I imagined.  Here are some of the things that have flashed into my brain:

  • Jack didn’t follow the sound of my voice as I moved from left to right across his face……does he have Down’s syndrome?
  • We’re never going to be sufficiently neurotic about societal requirements; therefore, Jack will never get into the right schools, or take the right music lessons, or meet the right people…..and he’ll never survive in Connecticut.
  • I’ll be stuck in dead-end “safe” jobs because I’ll be afraid to take the risks required.
  • I get unnaturally upset at Jack when I have to continually push his binky back into his mouth….all because I’d rather surf the web or read the paper, instead of paying attention to my own child.

Someone once told me: “imagination is on fire.”  I love this expression.  Imagination is what makes life so beautiful…but it can be dangerous.  Especially to an obsessive perfectionist like me!

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