Herbietown - Breaking Dawn


Breaking Dawn

I thought it was a phase, brought on by back-to-back births and adjusting to suburban exile.

But there’s no end in sight.

She owns all 4 paperbacks. [$50]

She’s seen all the movies in the theater, multiple times each. [at least $200]

She owns the Amazon version of the movies, and the Blu-Rays. [$150]

Now she’s buying the Kindle versions of each book. [$30 and counting]

She owns all the soundtracks on CD. [$60]

She has at least 15 trashy celeb magazines featuring Twilight stars. [$65]

We got into a fight last year after I snapped a picture of an US Weekly Twilight cover in a supermarket checkout line, emailed it to her, but didn’t come home with it.

I thought she would agree it was a waste of money at $9.99, but that she would laugh at the cover and that I thought of her. I was wrong.

She went back out and bought it, and didn’t speak to me for the rest of the night.

She even has a how-to book on knitting twilight-themed hats and sweaters. [$20] (ok that was a Valentine’s gift)

Our laundry room is a teenage girl’s dream, a shrine to Robert Pattinson. Posters. Calendars.

A life-sized cardboard cutout of Edward Cullen. Not a joke.

Now. I should probably make a few confessions myself.

I read the books, and I enjoyed them. I love science fiction and fantasy, and I think Stephanie Meyer did a nice job creating a world for the reader to escape into.

I did not enjoy the endless teenage drama over which boy she loved, but I powered through that for the supernatural story.

Also, I am no stranger to obsession. When I get into things, I get really into things. Like The Matrix. I will admit to multiple movie theater trips – some by myself – to watch The Trilogy on IMAX. I own the soundtracks, DVDs and Blu-Rays.

The difference is that The Matrix is a high quality piece of art. Incredible writing and breakthrough graphics. It’s like watching a graphic novel come to life.

Twilight, while an enjoyable escape, is frivolous. The writing is terrible. The acting is terrible. It is not obsession worthy.

Still, I love my wife’s obsession with it. I love her passion. I love that she has converted so many of our friends. I love Alice Cullen.

If you can’t beat ’em…

The babysitter is booked and the tickets are bought. I’m sneaking out of work early.

Breaking Dawn is coming to Wilton tonight and I’ll be there.