Herbietown - Moist Auto-Correct

Moist Auto-Correct

My wife hates the word “moist.” I don’t know why, but she always has. It’s like nails on a chalkboard for her. Apparently it’s pretty common.

A family friend recently showed me how to create these cool text shortcuts on the iPhone. You can type in “omw” for example, and auto-correct will change it to “On my way!” It works across all your apps.

I couldn’t resist.

One night I took Greta’s iPhone and made a few adjustments. “The” would automatically change to her favorite word. It can be fixed, but not if you’re typing fast and not worrying about typos, as most of us do on our mobile phones.

(For my ESL readers, “the” spells the, which is a fairly common word in the English language.)

So one day she’s emailing our friend about #3’s due date, and this comes out.

Later on, she was texting with Samantha, a different friend, trying to convince her to join the preschool board.

Her messages to me also seemed to get dirtier. Here’s a recent one, where she’s trying to tell me that she already picked up the mail:

But yesterday, oh, yesterday took the cake.

At 12:33 am I sent Greta a blank email with the subject line “Just cancelled Angie’s List, got $33 back!” [I’m cutting expenses so she’ll let me buy a new iPad. Still a long way to go.]

She replied the next morning at 7:20am: “TCB”

[“TCB” is shorthand for “Taking Care of Business”…sort of like “good job, that was very adult-like of you to take are of that.]

Me: “12:33 am TCB”

Her: “Yeah, what’s up with that???”

Me: “Starbucks 4:15p yesterday”

Her: “Stop that. Take a walk instead. You’ll get an energy boost without moist late night energy.”

Me: “That’s it. That was the best one.”

More to come. I also made “Chris” auto-correct to “Edward,” that sexy vampire she is obsessed with. I’ll need to break into her phone somehow to find those texts, because they are actually much more embarrassing. Stay tuned.