Herbietown - A $2,000 Dog

A $2,000 Dog

Someone lost their dog. They went around putting up Lost Dog signs on telephone poles in my town. They are offering a $2,000 reward.

Is that really what this world has come to?

Here’s the behavior they were expecting had they decided not to offer a reward:

“Hey, there’s a dog that looks a lot like that dog in the picture! What time is it? Ah, screw it, I gotta get home to watch American Idol. Not worth it.”

Or maybe

“Hey, look Mommy, a dog! It looks like that dog in the picture!”

“Son, that’s probably a scam. There are a lot of bad people out there. I’m sorry, but you can’t trust anyone. We’re going inside now and turning on the alarm system.”

I mean, honestly. Is $2,000 really what it takes to get a neighbor to help you out? It’s not even a cute little puppy that you might want to steal. It’s 12 years old and it’s probably incontinent and sheds everywhere.

If you see the dog, you call the number, the owners thank you effusively, and you go on with your life, knowing you did the right thing. Isn’t that a reward enough? I would never accept cash for returning someone’s dog. It’s just wrong.

The fine print is actually scary. “Reward paid for his safe return or confidential tips that lead to his safe return.” What does that mean? Is foul play suspected? Perhaps that’s just a caveat that if you find him dead in a ditch, they ain’t paying up.

I don’t know, y’all. That sign bothered me. The owners are obviously desperate, and having recently lost a pet, I can understand their pain. But what does it say about our society that we have to post $2,000 rewards to get people to act like decent human beings? It makes me sad.

Finally, and this is a little dark, but is little Andy really worth $2,000? That’s a brand new MacBook Pro. Or a couple of round trip tickets to the Caribbean. He’s 12, he probably doesn’t have much time left on this earth anyway.

Just sayin’.