I think the City should paint lines on the floors of the subway station at Grand Central to clearly label where tourists are permitted to stand. There should be signs. And there should be policemen handing out tickets to trespassers.
There are specific areas, such as the bottom of a busy stairway at Grand Fucking Central, that should be strictly zoned as tourist-free areas. Anyone who stops moving in these zones should be fined $50, and forced to pay on the spot.
If you’re from Kansas and you have 2 corn-fed children sucking down Big Gulps, and they’re standing in the zone with you looking terribly bored and horrified, you get fined 3 times. That’s $150. And even if your wife is standing outside the designated zone, if her enormous fanny pack is in the zone, she gets a ticket too.
I’m dead serious. It wouldn’t be hard to implement and it would vastly improve the lives of those of us who must traverse this wasteland on a daily basis.
Who’s with me?