I took a drive on Saturday.
It was snowing. I thought I’d go run a couple of errands to test the Odyssey’s performance in the snow.
The only downside of an Odyssey is that it doesn’t have four wheel drive. Greta had asked about this the night I surprised her with a new car. 4WD wasn’t really on my radar screen…I figured that a heavy car with front wheel drive would probably do fine.
The streets hadn’t been plowed yet, but there was only about 6 inches on the ground. Nothing my Subaru couldn’t handle.
Driving down to the grocery store went pretty well. There are some steep downhills, but I didn’t slide. I felt in control. The only tough part was the slushy intersection at the bottom of the hill, but all the cars on the road were having trouble there. I dropped off my dry cleaning, picked up a few groceries, and got back in the car.
I drove back through the slushy intersection, turned right, and headed back up the hill. I went about 30 feet and then started to slow down. Then I stopped. I gave it more gas, turned the wheel back and forth, and advanced about an inch. Then I rolled back.
I was stuck on the hill. A few cars drove around me and on up the snowy hill, while I considered my options.
Somehow I managed to turn the car around and head back down. Most people would have returned to Caraluzzi’s, the grocery store, parked, and called for help. Not me. I am a man. I go where I please, when I please. I decided to try other roads.
I had learned the hard way that Mountain Road was too steep. My other choices were Scribner Hill, Olmstead Hill, Hulda Hill, Nod Hill or Indian Hill.
And that’s when it hit me. I had made a $40,000 mistake.
I live at the highest point in Wilton. We had at least 15 snowstorms last year.
It took me 3 hours to get home. I cut through Twin Peaks Drive and got stuck on Rising Ridge. At one point I had to be towed up a hill by a landscaping truck. That is probably the most emasculating thing that’s ever happened to me.
I finally followed a snow plow up Pelham Lane.
Buying a car is a huge investment. It should be something that couples decide on together. Greta never would have gone for 2WD. If she had, at least we’d be commiserating together.
But I didn’t give her that choice. I wanted a red bow, and material for my stupid blog. I am a jackass.
Why didn’t I just buy her a blender? Or make a fun gift certificate for a new car, and then do the shopping together? She is an amazing online shopper. She always find the best products for the best price. Why did I have to copy a stupid car commercial to prove my love to her?
I am desperate to please, which is bad enough, but there’s another problem here. I hate to communicate. I hate it. I would rather go through hell by myself, and earn praise when I come out the other side, than have to talk about it.
Assembling IKEA furniture is not a good situation in my house. I would rather struggle by myself for hours than ask for help. Greta understands this and generally knows when to leave me alone. But I don’t even want her to know what I’m doing…I want to just completely surprise her with how amazing I am.
Last night, as I was setting up the coffee machine, I ran out of water. So I went downstairs to get another jug of Poland Spring. I was halfway down the stairs when Greta called from the kitchen, “Can you bring some more water up please?”
A simple request.
But it turned my heroic action into just another household chore. Instead of receiving praise for going downstairs, all by myself, and bringing up more water, I was transformed into a servile husband.
Sure, I could have avoided this by simply saying “Honey, I’m going downstairs to get some more water.” Arguably I would have earned the same number of points. But I am a man. I am a man and I am in control of my own destiny. I don’t need to ask permission from anyone. I go where I please, when I please.
As long as it’s not snowing.
Related:
- This is how I used to feel about my Honda Odyssey:
- If I had photoshop skills, I could probably change “Mt. Washington” to “Mountain Road” and sell bumper stickers like this:
- Check out this story about an overturned car on Scribner Hill Road, at 1p on Saturday. This is about 1/2 miles from my house. http://wilton.patch.com/articles/two-car-crashes-during-weekend-storm-in-wilton